“Work” should not be split 50/50 in relationships

IMG_20160501_202148In our society we have been conditioned to look at things we are required to do (but don’t necessarily want to) as “work”. It’s true. Has the cat box been cleaned out? Do I want to clean it out? Eh… it needs to be. Are the dishes in the dishwasher? Do I want to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher? Eh… they need to be. Let’s face it, we have TONS of these scenarios going on in our lives but my question is… when it comes to “work” why as a society do we feel we are obligated to split the “work” 50/50?

See… in my strange-way-of-thinking mind, when I hear people say this my thought process is… let’s say a couple has 10 things that needs to be done in the household or in their relationships (with each other or not) when they expect one person to do half of the “work” how is it determined who does what half? Wouldn’t there always be one person waiting to see what the other person is going to do before pulling their own weight? What if both individuals are doing the same thing and suddenly those 10 things are just sitting there… idle?

I’m just saying… if we’re going to talk percentages… what is wrong with one person doing 70% of the “work” and the other person does the other 30% but also invests their time/funds/attention to other things that could benefit their relationship/life experience, e.g. plan vacation, weekend outing, restaurant/movie date night, etc. I think most relationships are strained when the individuals involved are just focusing on the “work” and they forget about fun/leisure the very thing that brought them together in the first place (time, attention, fun).

What if we stopped looking at relationships as a 50/50 type scenario and just focus on doing 150% of quality time/effort together? Just a thought.


How to get over a heartbreak.

I was reading another blogger’s entry right now and they were talking about heartbreak. It had been over a year since their relationship ended but here they were still hurting.  It’s been so long for me I barely remember the feeling now.  I think that’s what we humans are great at feeling pain and forgetting it. In our minds we only have a memory after some time.

I remember thinking at the time “Wow this physically hurts. It was like literally feeling a knife piercing through your chest.  Suddenly the basic functions of everyday life were meaningless. I had no appetite for food. Comfort could only be found by clutching the pillow to my chest and crying.  Friends try to distract you but even they have to admit there really isn’t anything they can do but be there to assure you that you are not alone.

Anyone who has ever experienced heartbreak like this knows what I’m talking about…and if you don’t, some day I hope you will. I know that sounds a little harsh but it’s the truth.  I think the only way to truly appreciate REAL love is to experience heart break.

How to get over a heartbreak.
Take a shower
That’s right take a shower; and if you really feel bad, take a cold one you’d be amazed.  You’ll think that it’s crazy and you’ll wonder why you’re doing it but I assure you – that stabbing feeling in your chest? Gone.  (That is until you start thinking all over again.)

Get those endorphins flowing
Go for a walk and if that’s not enough to distract you, run.  Try to run so much that you can barely breathe and try your best to actually break a sweat.  Getting those endorphins flowing will help you feel better I promise.

Stop talking to the one who broke your heart
It’s tempting to remain in contact with your ex you shouldn’t.  Delete their contact information from your phone, your social network profiles, cut off all ties.  The sooner you can distance yourself from them the sooner you will feel better.

Focus on YOU
Set small goals for yourself like drink a cup tea every night before you go to bed every day for a week. Then when you’re up to it start thinking of goals you’d like to accomplish before the end of the year.  While you’re at it decide what goals you’d want to achieve in 5 years.

Whether it’s being with friends and family that always make you laugh or watch a comedy that you love.  What ever you have to do make yourself laugh. Sometimes even if you have to fake it.  Look at yourself in the mirror and just start laughing until you are doing it genuinely.